


Murder is Such a Nasty Word

by alianora



Category: Firefly
Genre: Drabbles, Gen, Written in 2006, five things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 09:38:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10874091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alianora/pseuds/alianora
Summary: Five times River tried to kill Jayne.





	Murder is Such a Nasty Word

1\. The knife slash wasn't a murder attempt, although he wouldn't believe it. Trying to leave him behind for the blue hands WAS, or would have been if she had been thinking more clearly.  
  


2\. River didn't have many jobs on board ship. There weren't many chores that required a crazy mind reading genius. She followed Mal around one day and pestered him with questions until he ordered her to go help Simon make dinner.  
  
Jayne, and the rest of the crew, didn't think that Simon's cooking could get any worse, but they were proved wrong. Very wrong.  
  


3\. One day, after he called her "crazy" one time too many, and made fun of Simon and picked on Kaylee, River closed her eyes and actively tried to kill him with her brain.  
  
She sulked for an hour when it didnt work.  
  


4\. She didn't leave her jacks out on _purpose_ , really. It wasn't her fault he didn't see the ball until he was already too late to stop himself from slipping on it and falling down the stairs.  
  


5\. She thought and thought about a way to give him a heart attack. It was a complete accident when he walked in on her in the shower.  
  
She had to run and go get Simon to stitch up Jayne's forehead after he fainted.

  
It would have been a perfect plot if she had actually planned it.

 

END


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